I guess sometimes I take stock and wonder why I keep at this journaling/blogging thing. Something makes me go. I haven’t felt much inspiration lately. Actually, I’ve been avoiding this screen a little. Just a little. But Steve said this:
Writing is hard work. People who don’t even try to write, I think, cannot understand this. You know whatever it is, it’s in there, and you can get it out, if you just keep plugging away. But it can be tiring, and frustrating, and defeat you if you let it.
That, I can understand. I guess I think if I keep plugging away, I’ll get it all out. I think my writing has improved with practice. It’s more natural, flows better. I have been feeling the itch to write something. Fiction. Another book. Find a publishing home for my first book, while I’m at it. But what? Ideas? Not yet. Time? Forget it. So this is my outlet. And sometimes I can’t bring myself to write anything worth reading here. It is very tiring and frustrating. I feel like I’m sinking under it, and I don’t know if I should continue to fight — to write.
And of course, this comes as I am accomplishing things with my writing at work: an article about my class’s incorporation of cheshbon hanefesh into the English curriculum with a study of Ben Franklin (pdf file, uncredited but written by me) or an outline of the differences between college prep and honors English at our school.
I’m going to bed. Lots of parent/teacher conferences tomorrow. I don’t know why I’m having so many. I am dreading it. I want to communicate with parents, but I would feel better knowing where they are coming from. If that even makes sense.
2 thoughts on “Why Do I Write?”
You write very well and should always continue the fight. And it is a fight – but a worthy fight. I agree with Steve 100%.
I have so much trapped in my own head and it fights to get out of me at times. Sometimes I am able to get it down into words. Other times it is a struggle to find any words at all and life and its demands comes crowding and crashing in to disrupt any flow.
On those days, I find staring at a blank screen enormously challenging and it can make me skiddish and tired – and I walk away.
I find I cannot force myself to create. The more I try, the more dry I become. Once I start dreading writing or it becomes too much like a chore than an outlet for creativity – then I take some time off.
I think anyone that writes deals with these problems. But as I preach to myself…I say to you….never give up. Your muse will always return to inspire. And once you are inspired, others will be as well.
You have never failed to delight me as I travel your art here.
I'm familiar with that feeling. Ditto to what you already know, of course — don't give up. That's easier said than done sometimes, but we're all doing it together so at least you aren't alone. 🙂 I miss your writing when you don't feel like updating.
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