I didn’t think I was going to have time to write, but an accident of circumstance has allowed me time. First off, I want to extend my apologies and my hand in peace to MyRoom. I do not agree with your views, but one of the reasons America is such a great country is that we are allowed to disagree with our country’s leaders and policies without fear of reprisal. So we’ll agree to disagree, but I don’t think spreading anger is the answer, and that was my knee-jerk reaction.
I see the image of that plane crashing into that building every time I close my eyes. It is unreal. I feel very helpless. I kept thinking, while watching all of this, that I want to do something. I don’t have any money, but I think I will need to give something, anything. Even if it seems too small to help. Watching the firefighters and the police, I had a deep desire to join up, knowing full well I am not strong enough mentally or physically for the rigors of either job. I weigh 100 pounds soaking wet, and working for five hours lifting and moving wiped me out. There is no way I could be of any real help in one of those jobs. But I deeply, deeply admire those who do.
I get choked up. All the flags. All the flags at half-mast. It is beautiful. I dropped my older daughter off at her father’s house last night. He had his lights off and a single candle burning on his porch. He came to the door dressed in white pants, a blue shirt with white stars, and a red tie. It took me back a little. He has flown a flag in front of his house since he bought the house. It made me proud to know that. Don’t know why, but it did.
I talked to my sister the other day. My brother-in-law is fine. He is in Saudi, but he was able to contact her. Looks like war. We should go to war, I think. I am so proud of all my family members in the military right now. My family has a long history of military service. My ancestors fought in the Revolutionary War and the Civil War. My great-grandfather was in the Army during World War I. My grandfather was in the Navy, the Sea-Bees, during World War II. One great-uncle served in the Army during World War II also. Another great-uncle served during the Korean War. My father was in Vietnam. Now my cousin and my brother-in-law are in the Air Force. I am so proud of them. Most likely they will be involved in the coming conflict. Of course I don’t want anything to happen to them, but the thought crosses my mind that one of them might die. Nathan Hale’s last words were, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” He was then hanged by the British as a spy. I know that my cousin and brother-in-law feel the same way. Hell, I feel that way. If it is necessary, then so be it. That must be how those men on Flight 93 felt. Mr. Jeremy Glick did not have his child with him, as I erroneously said in an earlier entry. Things like that get confusing until all the details are gathered. CNN did report that, but actually, he was going home and told his wife to take care of their child. His wife had told him about what happened to the World Trade Center. He knew what the hijackers were about to do. He knew he was about to die, but he willingly gave his life to save others.
I am proud of America. I admire our heroes. I love my country. Right now, I deeply, deeply appreciate our leaders. I did not vote for George Bush. The first thing I thought when this happened was that I was glad we had a Bush in the White House. I think he has done a superb job. He’s got my vote in 2004 unless he runs against Zell Miller. If that happens, I will really be stuck, because I love Zell. Not that Zell is talking about running for president. He should, but he hasn’t said he will, and frankly, I hope he stays in the senate for a while.
I keep thinking about my insignificant little problems. My life could be so much worse. All those poor families with pictures of their loved ones. They look shell-shocked. I don’t think I have even lost anyone I know, much less anyone I love. I thank God, but I also ask God to be with the families who have suffered loss. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson are no different from Osama bin Laden. They, like him, think we had this coming because of our evil ways. They, like him, think God uses terrorists to wage holy war against the wicked. They are nothing but traitors. Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent Jerry Falwell (I sent a shortened version to Robertson because he only allows 10 lines of text):
Dear Mr. Falwell,
I think the comments you made on a recent airing of The 700 Club were unconscionable. Regardless of your feelings about the wickedness of some Americans, you poured salt into the open wound caused by the terrorists.
I am a Christian, but I heartily disagree with your statement. God loves all of us, even those of us you deem wicked â€“ those of us you blamed for this atrocity.
In my opinion, you are no different from Osama bin Laden. You, like he, believe wicked Americans deserve to die. You, like he, believe that God uses terrorists as weapons in a holy war to punish wicked Americans.
You are nothing less than a traitor to your country. May God have mercy on you.
I told my husband I thought about my former students. Each morning, my school played “The Star-Spangled Banner” over the intercom. Then we said the Pledge of Allegiance. Some mornings, those kids didn’t say it. I was the teacher, the example, so I always said it loudly and proudly. But you know how teens are. Sometimes, patriotism isn’t “cool.” I’d be willing to bet that last Wednesday and every day since, the pledge was recited so loudly and proudly that it was stirring. And I’ll bet there were a few tears to wipe away, too.
“A day I will always remember”
“stateu of liberty hurts”
“They’re in heaven now!”
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
â€™Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
â€™Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, Who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.
When weâ€™ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
Weâ€™ve no less days to sing Godâ€™s praise
Than when weâ€™d first begun.