Steve doesn’t look in on what I write, so I’m probably safe in posting this, but then again, there might be two people who read his blog who know I exist and visit here, so I might be better off minding my p’s and q’s. Nah.
I don’t keep up with Steve’s blog for two reasons: 1) a childish indignancy over the fact that he doesn’t keep up with mine, boring though it most likely is; and 2) the true-crime stuff is ghoulish, and I don’t like reading about it. Anyway, if I want to know about “secret infections, hidden deformities, assaults upon children” (“Good Country People,” Flannery O’Connor), then I can count on my mom. Every once in a while, however, I do check in to see what’s what.
Steve’s blog is fairly popular, and he has captured the notice of journalists. He has appeared on several TV programs, most notably, Dateline, as a true-crime talking head. He knows that journalists read his blog and groused mightily one recent evening about one talking head in particular whom he feels regularly pirates his work. I am supportive of Steve, but I stay out of it. In a way, I think he likes it like that. I think it keeps him grounded. After reading comments on a recent post, I guess I can see why he’d need that. I was kind of trying not to retch over the fact that the majority them were so, well, fawning is a word that comes to mind. Steve’s just a regular guy. He farts. He belches. He breathes. You’d almost think he was on some other plane based on the comments he gets on his blog and MySpace (me — I’m still holding strong against getting one). It’s kind of scary to me on one level, because these folks don’t seem to realize he’s just a person like they are. People who have that sort of opinion of a television personality, writer, musician, or what have you are probably, for the most part, OK; there are always weirdos, however, and true-crime brings them out of the woodwork.
Jealous? Nah, I’m not, though I admit it would be a logical conclusion to reach. Steve’s online writing has always been more popular than mine, and I accepted it a long time ago. I do what I do, and I let him get on with doing what he does. If I was truly jealous, I don’t know that we could make our marriage work. Seriously. It would be a bit like professional jealousy, and I can think of plenty of marriages that professional jealousy has torn apart. Comments are nice. I don’t mind getting them. But if I am writing to fish for complimentarly comments, I’m writing for all the wrong reasons, and I’m wasting everybody’s time, mine included. A cursory look at this blog and any other blog I keep (note the lack of updates) should tell you I write when and what I feel like.
Nah, I’m not jealous. If you want to know the truth, I’m glad my blogs aren’t popular. I would feel more compelled to update, and that’s a burden I don’t want. I have watched Steve become increasingly chained to his blog, and it worries me. If I didn’t think perhaps money might come out of it (sooner or later, anyway), then I think I would be more alarmed than I am. I can see that what he is trying to do is lay the foundation for a career, and I am trying to support that. I don’t know if I could stand being in the spotlight, such as it is, like Steve is.
So if I’m not jealous, what’s my problem? Why do the comments on Steve’s blog and MySpace bother me? These folks are most likely quite normal, but what if they’re not? We already had a run-in with one reader/commenter who actually lives nearby and claimed to have been in trouble with the law for stalking. When I became uncomfortable with the level of communication between her and Steve and let them know, she at first apologized, then later, sent a scathing e-mail accusing me of over-reacting in the extreme (sorry — just a little worried about that record of stalking she had) and inventing the problem, which would most likely result in the demise of my marriage. What I am worried about is how many of these weirdos are out there, putting my husband on a pedestal of sorts (and blowing smoke up his rear). It’s hard to keep your head when stuff like that is happening, or so I would suppose. I wouldn’t like to see Steve start buying into it too much. I also don’t want to be attacked by some nut who thinks she’s his destiny.
So far, so good, and all I have to do is ruminate over these things. I am just hoping it stays that way. I wouldn’t want either of us to wind up on some rival crime blog or anything.
*eep* That kind of thing would scare me. He seems to be the guru of crime blogs and I wonder, like you, what kind of whackjobs are reading. Of course, I wonder that about almost any blog.
I think I mentioned this in Steve's comments section when he first delved into the crime blog thing. I wasn't so much wondering about the "fans" because at that point, they obviously weren't what they are now. What crossed my mind was that these killers and sexual predators, etc. would come across his blog and the in depth details about them that Steve finds and go off their rockers, taking aim at Steve, and of course, your family. I guess I didn't think about the consequences of a blog becoming popular and the concerns from that end.
Funnily enough, I think I also commented in those early days on "popular" blogs and the fact that they're predictable…or at least the comments are. It's a bit like high school, and everyone "fawns" over those that are popular. Mix that with the nature of his blog and that's bound to bring the weirdos out.
(PS – I can't remember, but I think you've mentioned you went to university in Athens? We took a drive there today, and the area is really beautiful and so southern! That, of course, coming from a Westerner.)
Hello,
I am one of the 'whackjobs' LOL
Actually I have considerably more in common with you than Steve. I popped in to his blog in January I think it was, when a case involving a UK husband kicked off and it intrigued me and I was looking for details we weren't getting over here – not gory ones I hasten to add – I just felt really upset about that particular crime and it had touched me in a way that no other crime reported had done before and I was looking for answers.
Needless to say I didn't find the ones I was searching for as they were more about me than the crime itself – but I did find a well written intelligent blog with some fairly sane commenters – on that thread at least 🙂
I have exactly the same attitude to crime blog readers as you. I have always refused to watch even films about disasters like the Titanic, because I felt uneasy about turning someone else's real life suffering into entertainment, so I could never understand why people would delve into horrible crimes as a 'hobby'.
There seems to be a point to what Steve does as it does seem to be having results and helping people make sense of stuff and pull things together. But I don't understand the folk who just read about crime for enjoyment.
I have often wondered about you. I am a wife who panics about imagined dangers all the time to my husband and son and I wondered how you handled the risks involved with what Steve does.
I am a writer of fiction with a huge imagination (part of which is that I will one day finish one of the many novels I have started) and I can imagine all sorts of consequences and scenarios that could have me unable to get out of bed if I let them.
I think you are very brave and Steve is lucky to have you supporting him – see I can fawn with the best of them 😉
Not that it makes much difference, but I will keep my virtual fingers crossed for you and your family – if good vibes make any difference to anything you have the benefit of mine at least.
I could never be a stalker – I don't have the attention span necessary LOL so here's one of us you don't have to worry about at least.
banana
(I like eating them – not because I am bananas)
Now, you know better than to start assuming I never read here, because that will be the day I do.
I don't read regularly because you don't update regularly, but more than anything because of exactly what you said:
You know what my attention span is like, darling. If it gets fixed on one thing, I might be good for several hours, then I'm drained. The reason you know that money will come of it is because you've watched me go from being a guy trying to occupy his overheated brain to being a writer who draws attention both good and bad from a lot of different people and places.
Just as soon as I start reading what you write regularly — and you know I have before, elsewhere — you sometimes will quit for a while, to recharge your batteries.
But I should read more, because I like your voice — here on your blog, and here in our room.
I also have to be grounded, and I think my dear wife knows that instinctively. It's something I rely on and trust her to be able to do.
For the record, I sometimes do NOT breathe. Just had to quibble with that 🙂
Hi, banana!
I love you Dana,
Steve
I read both, your's and Steve's blogs. Admittedly, Steve's more frequently.
Both offer obviously, very different things- to say the least.
I guess, Im one of those "whack-jobs", from Oz.
I really enjoyed this post.
Um, hi. I read your hubby's site… I found it through the crime library, I believe. I don't really comment and I really scan the entries more than read… unless I find something of interest. I think I have read EVERY story on the crime library site though. Sick, I know. Now that I know your blog here, I may have to come back and see how the other side is.