Category: This and That
Talk About the Passion
Everyone else is putting in their $.02. I may as well, too.
I think I’m going to see it, but I don’t know when. I discussed it with a student on my school newspaper staff this morning. She said it was very moving — that she wanted to go into the movie and stop His suffering.
I have to take those critics of Mel Gibson to task. Yes, I think it’s odd that he’s being so sensitive to media criticism, and I think the way he released the movie to invitation-only groups who agreed not to criticize it is strange. On the other hand, I’ve enjoyed his other movies a great deal (Braveheart is my favorite movie). A lot of people want to hang Mel for comments his father made. Well, my grandfather is one of the most racist people I’ve ever known. Growing up, I didn’t hear him ever refer to African-Americans in terms that weren’t pejorative. I feel the same way about my grandfather as Mel does about his father, though. I may not agree with a lot his beliefs, but I also know he has shown great kindness and love to me, the same as Mel’s father did to him. I don’t blame him for not wanting to condemn his father publicly. I wouldn’t want to condemn my grandfather either. Is the movie anti-Semitic? I don’t know. I haven’t seen it. But I can say that I think the charge is ridiculous. I can’t imagine that the movie would assert that every Jew alive at the time was responsible for the death of Christ. That’s ridiculous and narrow-minded. It is much more complicated than that. Who is responsible for Christ’s death? Every person alive who has ever committed a sin, that’s who.
I am a Christian. Some folks think that also automatically means I’m close-minded, anti-Semitic, bigoted, and a whole host of other things I can’t think of off the top of my head. I am none of those things. I don’t have a Bible on my lap, but I know each person must work out his/her salvation, meaning to me that we are all given the information we need to decide what we believe. It is ours to accept or reject. I am not comfortable with proselytizing. My old Baptist church was quite evangelical, and I was made to feel like if I didn’t go out and share the gospel with everyone I knew, then I didn’t really love God all that much or appreciate his sacrifice. I know now that isn’t true.
I don’t talk about religion a lot. It’s divisive. I have friends who are of many different religions and no religion at all, and I want them to stay my friends. I have not criticized their beliefs, nor (I’ve noticed) have they directly criticized mine. I decided a long time ago that people who hit you over the head with their beliefs and make you feel flawed because yours aren’t quite the same don’t really influence anyone so much as make them angry or uncomfortable. One of the most abrasive and annoyingly “right” people I ever knew was constantly sharing the Word. Too bad he didn’t practice it beyond sharing it.
I know if I didn’t have my faith to lean on, there are times I wouldn’t have made it through. Some good things have happened to me that I attribute to prayer and God’s movement in my life. Others may say it was coincidence. I can’t prove otherwise. I only have my faith, and to some faith is not proof enough.
My faith has been tested. The last few years have been hard for me. Right now there are things I’m scared or worried about. Having OCD, it has always been hard for me not to worry. I used to beat myself up about it. I know now I can’t control it. I can’t imagine how bad it might have been if I didn’t have God to lean on.
I’m blogging instead of eating lunch. I’m a little hungry, but I came here to try to put something in words. I’m finding that I can’t really say exactly what I feel. I can’t find the words. Maybe because it was said better elsewhere.
Related posts:
Job Hunting
I am officially not going to be in my current job next year, so I am searching for a high school job. I don’t think I ever want to teach middle school again. Those kids are just too squirrely.
I hate being unsure about the future though. I want to know I have a job. But I keep telling myself life’s too short to do something you hate, and all that, so… I guess I need to take my own advice.
I am feeling under the weather, but it may be the late hours I’m keeping. My husband sang for opening night of Eugene Onegin last night, and it was late, late, late when we all got home.
Maggie continues to request trips to the “libary,” which pleases me greatly, but last night we couldn’t go. We ate too late, and the library was closing by the time we got close to it. Stupid O’Charley’s. Service is usually good there. Well, last night, I waited for my change for 10 solid minutes with two screaming babies and an ADD ten-year-old.
You all wish me luck in this job search. If you believe in a higher power, I’d appreciate your prayers, too. I am the main breadwinner in my family, and I have three children living with me, two step-children who also need support, and a husband who has to have good medical insurance to cover prescription costs. That last bit sounded old. (In a shaky grandma voice) Well, we have to have our medicine.
See you all later.
Ghosts
This morning, the radio station I listen to, Z-93 in Atlanta, was just full of interesting content, some of which I plan to write about later.
They played the old Eagles’ song “Seven Bridges Road.” I apologize for the pop-ups, though they aren’t mine, if you follow the link. I hate pop-ups, and I try not to link to sites that use them. Anyway, I was trying to find information on the real Seven Bridges Road here in Georgia, but I only found one measly site. It’s an interesting story. According to Shadowlands Haunted Places Index for Georgia, the real Seven Bridges road is haunted:
On the northern side of Berry College [Rome, Georgia], there is a road – CCC Road; when you go west, if you count the small bridges as you go over them, there are seven. Turn around, count them on the way out; there are only six. At the west end of the road are the ruins of an old church and cemetery called Mountain Springs Church. You can hear music coming from the church at night along with crying and footsteps in the cemetery.
I read somewhere once that J.D. Souther went to Berry College, and that was where he got the idea for the song.
We are all haunted by stories from the past. Do you know a good, true ghost story? Share it with me.
Color Me Naive
Well, I just feel stupid. I’ve been trying to figure out what happened to one of my online friends. Another diarist ran her off her site. I won’t divulge all the details, because I’m not sure she’d want me to, but the basics are that this other person made it her personal agenda to constantly poke fun at my friend — everything from her appearance to her family. And she did it in a public forum with lots of her cronies cheering her on and joining in. The idea of that just appalled me. So I was doing some sleuthing and finally decided to check out a forum run by someone whose diary I’ve been reading for about two years or so. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I’m not sure that this person was involved in flaming my friend, but she sure as hell does her share in her own forum. What I read made me sick. I couldn’t believe someone could be that small and mean-spirited to people they haven’t met.
I realize I’m being cryptic here, and I apologize. I obviously wouldn’t like to be a target of theirs — the members of this forum, that is. I am hoping that they do not locate my URL, see this post, and unleash — any time someone criticizes them, they rip the person a new one.
It’s the ugliest side of the Internet. People who hide behind computer screens and insult people they don’t even know. I just can’t understand that behavior. Obviously, I can’t read the person anymore. I had thought she was nice enough. I didn’t see that side of her in her journal. Hm.
Well, that said, Rajni says an FAQ would be all right. But no one asks me questions frequently. Want to ask me something?
Related posts:
Groundhog Day
Happy Imbolc, my pagan friends. Or St. Brigid’s Day. What on earth is this holiday about, anyway?
Well, it is officially Black History Month. One of the people I admire most in the world is Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
Langston Hughes wrote one of the most profound poems I’ve ever read:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
Like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
Like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
What a wealth of culture; what amazing contributions to humanity.
And on a completely unrelated topic altogether, I have tried to look at journals located at my old host’s site. It appears to be down. To which I can’t help but say, in the fashion of Nelson on The Simpsons: “Ha, ha!”
Related posts:
All About Me, Me, Me!
I stole this from Strawburygrl, who stole it from gjacenta, who stole it herself…
- Full name: Dana Michelle Swier Cooke Huff.
- Nicknames: Well, Husband has taken to calling me “the Lady” (so has Dana), or “my Lady.”
- Sex: I’m a lady.
- Birthdate: September 17 — you may send birthday greetings if you must.
- How old do you really look: I was often mistaken for one of the high school students.
- Shoe size: 5 1/2
- Height: 5’4″
- Eye color: blue
- Hair color: brown with threads of silver (sounds more romantic than “goin’ gray”)
- School: graduate of the University of Georgia
- Body modifications: Only single ear piercings, but I want a tattoo.
- Ever been involved with the police: Not really.
- Best thing you’ve done this summer: Oh, I guess maybe for myself, it would be starting this diary, because I am writing nearly daily, and sometimes more often, and really feel like I’m getting better at dealing with things. Plus I am learning more about Steve, and he’s learning more about me.
- What shampoo do you use: Aussie Mega. 3-Minute Miracle conditioner in case you wondered.
- Do you have any pets: No, but I have had lots of cats and a beloved German Shepherd.
- Do you collect anything: Stamps, books (I like autographed ones), Celtic stuff.
- Favorite day of the week: I would have said Saturday before, but now that Steve works that day and I’m not working, it would be Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday -Steve’s days off.
- Favorite candy: Right now it appears to be Starburst jelly beans. Really, it is a German candy bar called Milka. It is milk chocolate and hazelnuts. I love hazelnuts.
- Favorite thing in your room: Well, it is a bit spare right now, since we’re still not set up, but it used to be my four-poster cherry wood bed. Until it was broken.
- Favorite food: pizza
- Favorite restaurant: Carrabba’s
- Favorite record: Tough question. I guess Physical Graffitti or Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin.
- Favorite song: My husband singing “Nessun dorma.”
- Favorite radio station: I don’t have one.
- Favorite ice cream: Mocha almond fudge. Breyer’s makes it now, but I think it is only for a short time (sniff).
- Favorite thing to do on weekends: Since Steve mostly is at work, look around online, watch T.V., and generally veg. That’s different from the rest of the week how?
- Favorite season: fall
- Favorite characteristic about yourself: Hmm… I think I’m fairly thoughtful.
- Favorite sport: If I have to pick, it is figure skating. Shut up!
- Favorite hangout: Don’t really have one, besides home.
- Favorite toppings on pizza: pepperoni and black olives
- Favorite Sesame Street character: probably Ernie. Maybe Cookie Monster.
- D you believe in aliens: Yes, but I don’t think they’ve been here. I am not so close-minded that I am not open to the possibility that there is life out there besides us, but unless they figured out how to travel faster than the speed of light, which physics as we currently understand it won’t allow, then I don’t believe they’ve been here.
- Do you believe in yourself: sometimes
- Do you believe in reincarnation: No, but I think we inherit our ancestors’ memories, which makes us think we’ve actually lived their lives.
- Do you believe in love at first sight: Yes. Experienced it (as much as you can online) with Steve.
- Do you have a religion: I’m a recovering Southern Baptist. I guess I would basically call myself a Methodist, mainly because Husband and I were going to a Methodist church – he’s Methodist. Although according to a quiz I took yesterday, I ought to be an Orthodox Quaker (?). Funny enough, lots of my ancestors were Quakers.
- If you could have any occupation: novelist
- Your dream car: I don’t dream about cars.
- Your dream house: Tudor-style house with at least four bedrooms, medieval accents as decor — hell, if it is a dream, then I want a castle in Scotland or Wales.
- What age do you want to get married: I first married at 21 (cringe). My second marriage — 29.
- How many kids do you want: I don’t know. I have four, sort of. Two natural children, two stepchildren. I’d like to give my husband a son. But frankly, childbirth hurts like a sonofabitch, so I’m not sure I want to have more than one more.
- Have you ever named your goldfish: Yeah, I have had goldfish named Goldie (how original), Rainbow, Bubbles, Baby, and Spink.
- Have you ever sat through an entire Dawson’s Creek episode: Never even seen part of one.
- If you were stranded on a desert island and could only bring 3 people, who would they be: This is hard, because I need to bring the stepchildren too! I need to bring 5 people.
- What do you wear to bed: It depends. I’m not fussy.
- What’s your bedtime: I don’t have a set one.
- Do you wish on stars: I’ve been known to.
- Is there a TV in your room: yes
- What’s the last thing you do before you fall asleep: Cuddle with Steve.
- Person who knows the most about you: Steve
- Any siblings: younger sister
- Furthest you’ve been away from home: Germany
- How many schools have you attended: 10, including colleges — three elementary schools, two middle schools, three high schools, and two colleges.
- Do you get along with your parents: not lately
- Who’s your 2nd family: Steve’s family.
- Vanilla or chocolate: chocolate, baby!
- Oddest dream: Since I’ve been on Prozac, it is nearly every damned night.
- Your favorite Halloween costume: Actually, it was my daughter’s first costume. She was a panda.
- Do you play any music instrument: Flute and guitar fairly proficiently. I’ve also played French horn, clarinet, violin, and dinkered with the piano, but I can’t really play it.
- Do you glow in the dark: no
- Do you possess magical abilities: Sadly, no.
- Can you name all four Tellytubbies: Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po. I have children.
- Can you name all the members of ‘N Sync: The only one I know is Justin Timberlake. Probably because he’s in People the most. My older daughter Sarah was talking about ‘N Sync yesterday. She was telling me about the ‘N Sync Barbie. Oh, and stepson Ryan is a boyband member in the making. He talks about ‘N Sync all the time.
- Can you name all the members of BSB: I don’t know any of their names. Oh wait — is the rehab guy A.J. McLean?
- Favorite color: green.
- Favorite television show: That’s hard. I’m not sure I have one. I like anything that comes on A&E, TLC, the Discovery Channel, or the History Channel about the Celts, British legend or history, or the royal family. I like Star Trek: The Next Generation. I also like Talk Soup and Jerry Springer — it is like watching animals in the zoo. Fascinating.
- Favorite clothes: Jeans and a tee-shirt.
- Favorite store: Petite Sophisticate
- Favorite soda: Coke
- Favorite actor: Hmm… maybe Daniel Day-Lewis. I’m not sure.
- Favorite actress: I’m not sure I have one. Maybe Julia Roberts, since I consciously tried to copy her look.
- Favorite music artist: Steve… well, okay, you want someone you’ve heard. Hm… I can’t think. I guess Sarah McLachlan.
- Favorite group: Led Zeppelin or the Beatles
- Favorite type of music: Mostly ’80s. I love classical, though.
- Favorite movie: Braveheart
- Favorite person in real life: Steve
- Favorite person on the net: Steve
- Least favorite person in real life: My first boyfriend, but since I don’t have to deal with him at all, I guess it would be various members of my family (never my husband or kids) at various times.
- Least favorite person on the net: Those crazy women who get crushes on my husband.
- Least favorite television show: sports
- Least favorite type of music: I agree with Straw, here — rap and hip-hop.
- Least favorite song: I don’t know. Maybe the one that plays on the keyboard my parents got my daughter. Grrr… Now I’m even growling like Strawburygrl.
- Least favorite movie: Too many. Probably the first Pokemon movie. It was mind-numbing. I felt my brain cells dying.
- Least favorite group: Too many. Rap and hip-hop artists everywhere.
- What are you most known for: I don’t know. Ask my husband. Maybe that I’m small and look younger than I am.
- What is your talent: writing
- If a friend was to describe you, what would they say: I get called sweet a lot.
- Have you ever been suspended or expelled: No. I only had one detention, too.
- Your greatest fear: Losing my husband.
- Best accomplishment: Writing a novel.
Related posts:
Spooky Stories and Marriage
Steve may have gotten me addicted to Art Bell — well, at least the Friday-night ghost-story fest. We fell asleep listening to it. Check this out — they told one that took place in the town where I worked, where I taught high school, where I went to high school! This is an international show, and here they were, talking about this (sort of) little town. Amazed me. I had heard a bit about some haunted places there. I used to assign outside reading to my students, but they were allowed to pick whatever it was as long as 1) their parents gave them permission to read it, 2) it was longer than 200 pages, and 3) it wasn’t a young adult book. Now, you might think most of them squeaked by on the minimum requirements, and there were those who did, but generally, they relished the freedom of the assignment so much that they would wind up choosing challenging material. One student read Gone With the Wind. Another read philosophy tomes. Lots of the girls picked Oprah books — which was fine by me. But I had this one special guy who picked really out there stuff to read. One of my favorite students. He read a book on astral projection and made this really cool board game based on the book. I had to let him and his peers play it during class once. Then he read some ghost-chasing book in the For Dummies series. Lots of people probably think I shouldn’t have let him read things like that, but hell, he met all my requirements, and he enjoyed the hell out of something he was reading. If you all only knew how rare that is — that an English teacher gets to enjoy teaching kids who like what they’re reading! Anyway, I think the story that the guy told on Art Bell was one of the things this student discussed in his ghost-chasing journal.
There were some damned spooky tales. I think the one that really scared the piss out of me was the one about the mirror. This woman had an antique mirror. She had it in her bedroom. Night falls, and I guess she can’t sleep. For some reason I didn’t quite catch, she was looking at the mirror. A pair of eyes — not her own -appeared in the glass. They scanned the room, then met her own eyes dead on. Then this mouth appears with this frightening smile, like it had her. She threw a lamp (I think) at the mirror and ran out of the room. Her family thought she was crazy. It chilled me to the bone.
I had something kind of scary (but not that scary) happen to me when I was about 13. I was thinking lots of scary thoughts, like stuff about Satan (I was obsessed with the idea that the devil was out to get me when I was a kid), stuff about the construction worker who had been killed while building a house across the street (we lived in a new neighborhood). Then BOOM! My music box starts playing of its own accord. I didn’t touch it; no one did. It just started playing. I flew — and I mean flew, because I don’t think my feet hit the ground — into my mother’s room and told her what happened. I had to sleep in there with her because I was too scared to go back into my room. I told Steve about it, and his theory is that it was a poltergeist, because 12-14ish girls tend to attract them — or something like that. I’m sure he’ll set that record straight in his diary.
I have been devouring Matt’s diary. He should join my Happily Married diaryring — he gushes about his husband almost as much as I do about mine. Plus we went to the same college and he lives close to me. I guess I can get by with revealing that much. Now if he just liked opera… His entries brought tears to my eyes. There were a couple of times there when he was describing things that are very familiar to me — like your family not being able to accept the person you love and the pain that causes. Reading about how his father acted when he came out, reading about his mom and sister at his wedding. Gosh. I called my mom to tell her Steve and I had gotten married. She went dumb, just like Matt’s mom did when he came out. She told me she thought I was making a mistake. It was hard to have to deal with anything that would mar that beautiful day.
We had decided to do it the night before. My divorce had been final for a while, but we were still waiting on his. Anyway, Steve says screw it, let’s just do it tomorrow. Tomorrow! We got online to find out what we would need. We had to drive out of state because our state requires a blood test, and we just didn’t have time. So we got up the next morning and drove about three hours. We married in the hallway of the city hall, right in front of the Christmas tree. A little man who just sat around all day performing weddings for people who got marriage licenses performed the ceremony and took our pictures (which didn’t turn out because he didn’t use the flash — devastated me). I wore the dressiest maternity dress I could find – a yellow one with pretty flowers on it. I was five months pregnant. We called Steve’s mom to tell her the news, and she was ecstatic. She doesn’t know it, but part of the reason she has my undying love is that she accepted me and put her love for her son and his happiness before some fundamentalist set of values. Guess which road my parents took? Call me Hester Prynne, y’all. One of the most disheartening things to learn is that your parents’ supposed “unconditional love” for you does indeed have conditions. So I, like Matt, was dying to move away, and now we have, albeit not as far away as he might be moving. I feel a certain amount of freedom in that. I like it here. I love my home. I can see myself living here for some time. Now, if I can just find a job…
Related posts:
Short Poem
I-24 East to Chattanooga
white lines of the lane divider
reflect light like
confederate ghosts marching home from war
Related posts:
A Trip to My Old College Town
Oh, I’m sleepy. Long day driving around. We went up to the town where I went to college. It was kind of fun showing Steve my old dorm, some of buildings where I had classes, some of my hangouts. I really liked it there. I was happy. Not so much because my life was going swimmingly, but because I was young, I was on my own, and I was learning so much. The campus is beautiful. I miss college sometimes. It wouldn’t be the same going back to grad school. Part of what I miss is the whole undergrad experience of living on campus and being young. I am mad at myself for not letting my hair down a little more while I was in college. I didn’t go out much.
I was telling Steve about going out with my friend Carmen on her 21st birthday. I have a very low alcohol tolerance. That, coupled with my small size, means I get drunk very quickly. On this particular night, I took a cold pill. Don’t ever mix those with alcohol, folks. Not good. I only had two beers, but combined with the cold pill… I was fairly buzzing. Anyway, everyone around me decided to mosh. I hate when that happens. No one asked me if I wanted to be involved. They just started shoving. I will say this about moshers — they usually help you up if they knock you down. Someone with very big boots kicked me in the shin and I had a bruise the size of an orange for weeks.