Much Madness is Divinest Sense

I had a most excellent first week of school. I feel like I’m at home. It will be a miracle if I ever learn my crazy schedule, but that’s okay.

We had Field Day on Friday. Yes, at the beginning of the year. Think about it, though. It’s a great way to get to know folks. Students council divided all the students up into teams. Each team wore a different colored t-shirt that had the names of all the students, faculty, and staff on the back. I was on the red team, but there were also orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, and black. It was great to see the students interact. I was really touched during the tug-of-war. One of my sophomore students is the kind of kid who would be picked on in public school — he’s a big guy, and he’s got true geek cred for his interests (which match my own): LotR, the Middle Ages, and Harry Potter. He was the anchor for the yellow team. What touched me is that as he was trying so hard to stay on his feet and pull, one of the seniors from the red team — a cool kid, you could tell — kept yelling encouragement: “Come on, [student’s name], you can do it!” It would be unrealistic to say that all of the students at the school are friends, but from what I can see, they are all at least friendly to one another. My team won the tug-of-war, by the way. We didn’t have the biggest people on our team (after all, yours truly is not an asset on a tug-of-war team). I know those poor guys were not too thrilled to have the tiniest teachers — yours truly, of course, and Rabbi Gottfried. But between the two of us, we’ve had six children, four of them without drugs. So we pulled and pulled. That black team had all the biggest guys on it, but we beat them. I was surprised, and I think the rest of the guys were, too. I was so tired at the end of the day. Actually, just sitting down at lunch wore me out. After lunch, Rabbi Baker led the blessing, sung in Hebrew. It was really beautiful, and I really enjoyed the feeling of community — watching those teachers who were Jewish and the students singing in response to Marc (Rabbi Baker).

You know, half the time when my students leave class, they thank me for the lesson. They thank me every time I give them a handout or paper. They’re so polite and respectful. At the same time, they don’t sit there and stare in quiet as I gab on. They enjoy interaction, discussion.

I am feeling pretty good about my decision to teach for the first time in years. And it was nice to read this post by my husband in praise of a good teacher. Also, go check out why Steve is “the Bomb Shizzle, Yo.” I haven’t mentioned it here yet — I’ve been remiss. He will be a principal (lead) in the Huntsville (Alabama) Opera Company production of Cavalleria Rusticana and Pagliacci. He will audition for the Pensacola Opera Company on Sept. 25.

I wonder if they ever really go away. Maybe if I stayed at one school long enough, they might. I am looking at the clock, thinking I need to get in bed. The dryer buzzed. I can fold some clothes. That will be something to do.

I ironed my black skirt and lavender blouse for tomorrow. I wish they looked nicer. The blouse is silk and has small tears at the cuffs. I can fix it so that no one notices if I use tape on the inside. My pantyhose have a couple of tiny snags in them. I cleaned a white spot off my black shoes.

The schedule tomorrow is abbreviated, which I think is a great idea. There is a long morning program wherein the faculty will be introduced. The classes themselves will only be about 15-20 minutes long, I believe. And then the students will leave at 2:00. Then, I guess, we’re all about business on Tuesday.

I’m nervous. I want to do well here. It isn’t that I haven’t done well in the past so much as I just can’t seem to find a place where I fit. So far, I feel at home. But tomorrow, the real test begins. I was chosen from a great many candidates for this position — Nanci showed me the stack of résumés she didn’t even interview with. She agonized over whether to hire me or someone else who was also very high on her list. She was very honest with me about this. I don’t want to disappoint her. She placed a lot of faith in me.

I’m sitting here hoping I can be good at this, hoping she won’t decide she made a mistake. I was really happy at work last week. I love this job so far. I want to be great. There have been many times that I questioned whether I should continue to teach. Was it that I hadn’t found a home yet, or was it that I wasn’t good? I can think up some great ideas for lessons, but sometimes I don’t feel like I pull it all together like I should. Is that just me?

I can honestly say that I have finally learned that I don’t need the students to “like” me. Age and some small amount of wisdom has taught me that. But I do want them to consider me a good teacher ten years from now when they look back. That is really important to me.